Last Friday I was multi-tasking at work one air-pod in an ear while listening to one of my bajillion online classes that I humbly invest in, and came across a question that was so on point for this total solar eclipse on April 8th.
When you hear the word leader…
- What do you see?
- What faces come to your mind?
- What qualities does he/she have?
- What blocks you from being a leader?
Oh boy! Fascinating enough (or humbly enough I share), I’ve dropped the ball on this monthly blog I launched last summer.
Thinking about when I would write my next one has been weighing me down with guilt, and regret…similar to when I see fruit flies that multiply in my kitchen from those yummy peanut butter banana muffins I just didn’t get to either.
Not exactly the qualities of a good leader at home or as a business owner that come to my mind…
The April 8th solar eclipse in Aries is about this.
What’s blocking us from our leadership?
The sun (our life force energy) is in the firey and get-going now, the zodiac sign of Aries.
The moon will pass in front of the sun blocking the face of the sun from us here on earth.
What are we afraid to see?
- Who am I really as a leader?
- What is blocking me?
Not easy questions to answer.
Which is why I was pumped to get this blog out.
In this month’s musing, I’d love to serve you with how you can be the leader you are meant to be.
This month’s Cosmic Espresso Shot:
So if you’ve been conditioned like me to listen to experts like Harvard Law School, you may want to know they have reported, the faces of leadership are changing for a new collective.
Meaning, collective leadership is replacing the traditional thinking of a single or top-down leader.
Duh, but so cool to get “validated” because we knew this right?!
But what this also means is, your knowledge contributes to the strength of collective leadership.
And your knowledge comes through your lived and felt experiences.
Consider reframing the question:
- What memories/experiences come up on repeat?
- How have they shaped me as I show up in my relationships, career, money, and overall well-being?
- What feels tense like I am yearning to work on and grow?
Leadership qualities come through the experience of taking action, like me launching a blog, the messiness within the process, and learning along the way.
So here I am again!
However, it’s not just about enduring qualities like resiliency that make an extraordinary leader.
What Harvard Business School reports is as our world has been shifting, so should our leaders and a definition of what can make you an extraordinary leader.
And it’s not just about what you know, or even enduring traits.
It’s how you show up socially and emotionally in the context of situations.
We know our nervous system is wired for survival, so naturally we are more reactionary.
But social and emotional intelligence can be learned.
Because when you learn to regualte your nervous system, you are able to broaden your perspective to what’s true and relevant in the moment.
Growing up Asian-American in the non-diversified city of Lansing, MI, and not integrated into my Filipino culture, I struggled with belonging and fitting in.
This has been a core wound of mine, do I fit in?
Culturally, I also couldn’t share many of my thoughts for fear of being disrespectful.
So now at the ripened age of 50, I have learned a few things along the way. I did mention my bajillion online classes.
Why emotional intelligence is critical for the kind of leaders we need today, is because in the broader perspective you will gain, metacognition. Noticing yourself thinking.
Am I thinking of myself as a:
- Victim-“poor me”
- Persecutor- “it’s all your fault”
- Rescuer-“let me help you”
This is a Drama Triangle and was first described by psychiatrist Stephen Karpman in 1968. It’s a model of ineffective response to our struggles and how we perpetuate dysfunctional power, (so on point for this solar eclipse in Aries conjunct Chiron).
The social-emotional intelligent response would be using myself as an example is learning how to ask myself the good questions that will yield the good answers.
- Victim-Am I blaming my parents still? Why would my mom tell me if we were white or if she was married to a doctor they would have been nicer to her at the department store.
- Perpetuator- Am I causing harm to others? Dressing my kids in these outfits and sending them to this school means they belong.
- Savior– Am I trying to save others without their consent? My parents need my somatic coach.
We each have unique experiences that can be used as opportunities now to contribute to the changing faces of leadership.
Considering starting today on this solar eclipse and not being afraid to ask…
- Who am I really as a leader?
- What is blocking me?
Empower Yourself today and use your wounds to heal and transform into the extraordinary leader you are yearning to be.
